Wednesday, August 10, 2005

this is giving me gas..

ok, i may not have bitched quite enough about this gas price thing.. but i tell you what boy, this texan is giving up the suv and getting an itty bitty car that might fit in my dad-gum cowboy boot.. prius, here i come !! this crud is really harshing my mellow..

i'm not alone.. i'm just blue..

Michael Houser
January 6, 1962 - August 10, 2002

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

zima + red bull =

for those of you who need a good solid caffiene kick in your malt beverage of choice - let me introduce you to tilt. tilt is the new product from Anheuser-Busch - aimed at lighting up the night sky of the red bull crowd.. all of the dainty smirnoff ice imbibers may be inclined to take a swig from the machined aluminum can of tilt.. to add an edge to their previously freux freux persona...

satan's pizza..

it's official - in new zealand, you can get hell's pizza. a little different than 'satan's' pizza' down in austin, but apparently just as hellish. one ad line says of g-dub, 'hell: too good for some evil bastards.' even their phone number has made a point of including the good ol 666 prefix.. well, we can all rest better that the advertising for pizza has gone to new depths down under.. i wonder if heaven's pizza will have an effigy of, oh, say, ted kennedy with a halo..

Monday, August 08, 2005

you are my sunshine..

typically, when you hear of a new energy bill being signed in to law, you think of things like fuel cells, drilling in in the arctic, natural gas field development, hybrid cars.. but do you really think about daylight savings time ?? i sure don't, but now.. as of today, with g-dub signing the new legislation, our rules of engagement with daylight savings time has changed !! starting in 2007, daylight savings time will start 3 weeks earlier and end a week later. in theory, this will require you to use less light in your house.. (unless, of course, you're like me and leave lights on 24/7/365 whether home or not) well, this will CERTAINLY help the kids trick-or-treating.. they'll have more time before it gets dark.. so think of the benefits to dentists and orthodontists country wide.. i can't think of a downside.. well, maybe just this.. it now appears if all of our favorite technology companies are going to have to change the way they do business. windows, VCRs, cell phones.. everything with a calendar in it is going to go boom. there will have to be patches distributed, there will have to be changes made -- and don't forget, if our friends in canada and mexico don't go along, our timezones won't match up for 4 weeks out of the year.. creating a whole new subset of timezones to navigate.. so next time you get in you gas guzzling SUV, think about your sins against humanity and feel shame..

dirty harry..

harry belafonte has determined that the black folks in the bush administration aren't 'good enough' black folks. in an interview with, harry decided to state that the likes of condi rice and colin powell were 'black tyrants.' this on the heels of his prior comparison to colin powell as a 'house slave.' so, i'm not sure how black is black enough for good old harry.. oh, but right when you thought he might be done, he had more to say.. harry decided to add his own take on history by saying, 'hitler had a lot of jews high up in the hierarchy of the third reich..' i'm not sure about you, but with a policy of ethnic extermination against jews, to the tune of countless MILLIONS.. chances are slim that hitler had his inner circle of jews providing him guidance. but hey, i've heard everything is the jews fault in this world.. so maybe harry knows more about history than the rest of us.. that being said, i'm sure harry feels very comfortable with the 'blame it all on the jews crowd' i think he and david duke are planning a rally soon.

just so you're aware..

canadian's get it straight..

well, i think my opinions of our good friends to the north are well established and communicated among my friends.. but now, i must finally admit that their forward thinking social policies have made me appreciate them even more.. in the race to be the most politically correct and socially forward nation on earth, canada now allows 'same sex' marriage. (please note i did not say 'gay' marriage) it's starting to turn out that straight canadian men are looking at getting married for the tax benefits !!! from the ottowa sun:

--Bill Dalrymple, 56, and best friend Bryan Pinn, 65, have decided to take the plunge and try out the new same-sex marriage legislation with a twist -- they're straight men.
"I think it's a hoot," Pinn said.
The proposal came last Monday at a Toronto bar amid shock and laughter from their friends. But the two -- both of whom were previously married and both of whom are looking for a good woman to love -- insist that after the humour subsided, a real issue lies at the heart of it all.
"There are significant tax implications that we don't think the government has thought through," Pinn said.
Dalrymple has been to see a lawyer already and there are no laws in marriage that define sexual preference. --

well, once again, i must hand it to the canadians for being socially progressive.. they're gonna cost themselves tax money because of all the hockey bachelors are gonna marry one another, eh.. but hey, they'll still have free health care and polar bears..

pretty pictures..

well, as i have known a few people in life who have decided to walk down this path.. i figure that it never hurts to remind people of what this crap does to you. it's sad to watch people with much potential throw their lives away for something so silly, but it seems to be more and more prevalent. being someone who likes to sleep in, i don't see any value of something that keeps you up for days at a time.. apparently staying up for this long is bad for your complexion too. i'm guessing that these folks aren't the target audience for oil of olay products, but they sure could use some. i wonder if public assistance will help them clear up this premature aging issue. i think amino-peptides would really help with the wrinkles..
some of those before and after pictures are shocking... and just like the peter jennings story - if you're smoking this crap, it's prolly time to quit.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

peter jennings -

looks like the lung cancer got the upper hand.. smoking just doesn't pay..