Friday, January 07, 2005

did you know..

well, it's a shame that 2004 is over because along with the absurd events of that year - we might have the most absurd of them all early in 2005..

let's review 2004's top 10 events that shaped the world:

1. Janet Jackson went rogue and flashed a nipple at the superbowl..
2. Janet's brother (?) Michael decided it would be a good idea to feed young boys booze and show them how to masturbate..
3. John Kerry and John Edwards became the 'hair' ticket and between one of them dressing as a teletubby and the other primping in front of the camera, the majority of America felt that they weren't how we wanted to be represented..
4. The ACLU continued their assault on the 10 Commandments and support of NAMBLA. (for those of you not in the know, nambla = north american man/boy love association.) mikey jackson is a charter member. vomit..
5. The media determined that making iraqi prisoners into naked cheerleader pyramids was more of an abuse than beheading women and men, mass graves, gassing your own citizens and genocide.. Good call.
6. The blue part of the country outwardly cheered for more American deaths in Iraq so that they could set up their islamo loving, america hating, gay obsessed socialist utopia.. they're still trying to figure out why they lost the election. (i bet they've had a focus group or two)
7. 4 hurricanes hit florida, transforming the sunshine state into the second largest natural disaster of the year..
8. The red sox and patriots are world champs at the same time.. further proof of the impending apocalypse.
10. the world really does fall off it's axis because of earthquake 9.0 in indonesia.. and i thought quake 3 was the last one released..

so, for the new year.. did you hear...

it's the UNITED STATES that caused the tsunami.. some covert nuclear test that the american's and jews were doing.. just to cause a tsunami that would kill a lot of people in the most populated muslim country, indonesia. that bit of breaking news is brought to you by our friends at al jazeera.. sponsored by miller lite, half the calories of bud lite.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Happy 2005 !!

wow, i'm bitter.. my 3 page rant i just typed didn't get published under this title. more later when i can summon more blogpower.