things that are silly..

ok, so it's late.. and i'm tired and my eyes are weary..

that being said, i thought i'd put a few thoughts on paper.. thoughts especially important to me with the da vinci code buzz that is going on..

this life we hang on to so dearly to is simply a temporary stop in the rest of forever. if i were not a Christian, you'd think i was a hindu or that i subscribed to a eastern philosophy of some sort.. but the reality is that what we do here that we consider important is, in a large reguard, insignificant.. you might think you would come back as a cow, or as a moth, depending on what you believe.. but at the end of the day, there is only one set of beliefs that make sense to me..

Jesus Christ died on the cross for the sins of mankind .. you can take that or leave it.. in your own well educated mind, this may be a fantastic tale of fiction and lore.. however, regardless of how smart you are or how many degrees you have earned, your only path to immortality, and that is what you desire, is from a God that knows that you are imperfect (which you are) and that his Son is the only path to what you desire..

yet, you rebel. you have it figured out.. trust me, i have it figured out. and i'm far smarter than you.. or am i ?? or are you ?? you give up your eternity to indulge your pride and your simple worldly pleasures.. and i indulge those too.. the difference ? i don't wait for another man to tell me it's ok, to confirm my behavior as acceptable.. i wait for the judgement and reward of a patient, yet just God. a God that loves me for who i am yet hates my sin. a God that sent his Son to die for my sins.. yet i abuse that.. i sin with impunity.. with no concern for me or him or anyone... i am simply a consumer. i take large bites out of the world i live in, while taking for granted the one that will save me from it.

so, at the end of the day, i sometimes find myself inspiring imperfect people that i would convict for reasons i am myself guilty.. i find myself unwilling to release a worldly love for the love of eternity because i'm weak..

but, every day.. when i walk in to my house alone, when i want to share that moment that i should share with the love of my life, i now do just that.. i've just realized that the love of my life isn't who i thought it was.. it is who has always been there for me, yet i've taken for granted..

life is short here.. live it right. even if i don't.. you should.

i miss those who i loved unconditionally.. but my love is far from cold. thank you for loving me so much that you provided your Son to save my sorry butt.. much love and many thanks.